A Mom’s Life Top Five
Autumn affords us many splendid things. Colored leaves crunching underfoot, the feel of your favorite sweater and apple cider simmering on the stove.
Oh … and those pumped-up packs of sweaty, jersey-clad jocks smashing into each other for three hours every Sunday.
Instead of rolling your eyes at this game of controlled chaos, embrace the parental lessons hidden under all that padding.
1. Never out-punt your coverage. It’s swell to be known for prize-winning birthday cakes, unstained, uber-polite kids and a stellar volunteer record. But life is life. So survey your field carefully, get some good blockers, know your limits, keep an eye on what really matters and "punt" appropriately. Remember: Over-punting often leads to getting scored upon.
2. Good defense beats a great offense. Beef up your defensive line by packing that first-aid kit, a second pair of mittens and a few extra water bottles. That way when the offender—a scratched, frostbitten or dehydrated kid—comes at ya, you’ll stay standing.
3. Don’t be afraid to call an audible. Be prepared to switch things up on a moment’s notice. If you plan on going apple picking and a classic Midwestern storm blows through, refuse defeat. Shout out a new play like fireplace s’mores making or The Spit-Ball Super Bowl of ‘08!
4. When you reach the "End Zone," look like you’ve been there before. Or as I tell my husband after he unloads the dishwasher and boasts about his domestic skills, "act like you’ve done this before." Save the gloating and showboating for the really big accomplishments in life, like childbirth.
5. Spandex is NOT the miracle, ultra-slimming material we wish it were. Look at any offensive lineman, for examples. Black is the only color worth considering and white should be against the law. Save spandex for the 20-something tight ends.
51/2. If your husband thinks smacking your booty makes you feel appreciated ... . It’s like a kicked-up high five in football-ese. Just smile and smack his boo-ya back, only harder.