My daughter is 8 years old and was diagnosed with life-threatening allergies to peanuts and tree nuts following a severe reaction 4 years ago.
I have had to really learn to advocate for my daughter, both at school and with regard to play dates,parties and any extracurricular activities she is involved with. In fact, I am the author of the article about food allergies that appeared in this month's issue (March) of Chicago Parent. Food allergies have been a constant struggle for my family and I encourage all of you to do what you're doing--reach out to other parents. Also, I have found it's important to go out and do things like go to restaurants, etc.
One of the mother's who posted asked for tips on restaurants. FAAN (foodallergy.org) has a "Chef Card" template that you can give to your server. But the biggest thing is just to speak up. If you know you're going out in advance, make a phone call and ask them how they handle food allergies. We've had good experiences so far but we're picky about where we go.
I have a blog: nut-freemom.blogspot.com and I welcome comments from parents with this same problem. We're not alone out there, even though some days it feels like it.