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Only child

Last post 04-16-2008, 12:10 PM by Rees. 2 replies.
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  •  04-14-2008, 12:17 AM 1549

    Only child

    I had my baby boy later in life. I turned 44 two weeks after giving birth to him. I am now 46 and my husband is 52. I would like to have another child but I know my husband feels he is to old to be able to support a bigger family and he has said he does not want anymore children. I am very worried about my son. He will be an only child, I don't know if that is a good thing, bad thing or does it even matter. I have so many mixed messages from others. Everyone is always saying poor boy, no brother or sister. Anyone out there have only one child, or was an only child? Please help, I am really obsessing over this.
  •  04-14-2008, 9:32 AM 1550 in reply to 1549

    Re: Only child

    Hi, I was an only child and it's not as bad as you would think or what people make you think!  People seem to have comments that they should leave to themselves. Really! I remember as a kid people saying that same to me, "Poor child, no brothers or sisters". When I think of now, it's pretty rude. Strangers or even friends that say that to your little child is actually to a point verbal abuse. It may be a medical reason or a personal choice that someone may or may not want another child.  Today children have numerous opportunities to go and get active and make friends everywhere. I actually had kids later in life as well and it's alot tougher then when your younger. I sometime wish I didn't wait so long. Your patience isn't there or your energy. Moms at certain functions are younger, however, that's not that important. I wasn't sure if I wanted to have another child and I had that same delema if should have another child, and was surprised and blessed with a daughter.  Having no brothers or sisters really didn't bother me any, since I was a only child.  I remember wanting a brother or sister, but I also saw how other only children really loved being an only child. It's not bad.  I would determine certain things though, such as, activities around home, neighborhoods, (safe to play with other children) then you might want another child so that your child has social skills and interaction. They need that. I hope this helps you make a satisfying decision.

  •  04-16-2008, 12:10 PM 1573 in reply to 1550

    Re: Only child

    My  8 year old son is an only child ( at the moment anyway! ) and he went through a phase recently always asking about having a brother or sister. What was funny was that he seemed to assume that his sibling would come out old enough to play AND leave his stuff alone! Not like his baby cousin who cries, takes up all her mama's attention and has stinky diapers! He has always been a very happy, well- adjusted child. If anything, he was precocious, because he interacted  with adults a great deal, but being an only child has never interfered with his making lots of friends and being outgoing in groups, etc.

    At the moment, he is sort of getting the best of both worlds, because we moved near a family with FOUR kids, all his age, two boys and two girls and he became best friends with one of the boys. Their mother loves having my son over ( says she doesn't even notice one more) and it is really exposing him to having to deal with a lot of other kids and their needs. He loves playing with them and being part of the gang- but then he is MORE appreciative when he comes home and can have all the popcorn in the bowl and no one has moved his stuff from where he left it or whatever!

     I had one brother growing up and it was great, but I think only kids turn out fine too! Don't worry about people's comments - I remember when I was going through my painful divorce and very few people knew about it. Strangers and acquaintances would tell me how great my son was- and then add the comment about 'when's his little sister coming along? You don't want to wait too long!" etc. That was the LAST thing I wanted to hear. Just ignore it- peopel don't mean to be rude, but sometimes they are!

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