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Please note this is a recreated post as I could not find it on the internet archive.

Soon after the APA report was released my favorite (not) editorial writer came out with a critique. I have to say directly to Kathleen Parker, please come up with a new tune! She starts out by first showing us that she has no idea why reports like this are released. "When it comes to figuring out what's gone wrong with our culture, we can usually rely on the American Psychological Association to catch on last." Um, Ms. Parker, they began this research two years ago in RESPONSE to everything we consider wrong with our culture. And as I said in Part 1, this was a call for more research and for more funding. "We shouldn't need a scientific study to tell us that sexualized children is damaging..." Here we agree. But we do need research to get people to act on it otherwise we'll only hear: "Oh, it's all in fun!" "Girls have always dressed up!" "Boys will be boys!"

Her biggest gripe is her claim that "missing from the report is the single factor that seems more predictive of girls' self-objectification - - the absence of a father in their lives." One good piece of advise someone gave me, anytime a writer uses "seems" take that "fact" with a giant grain of salt. That said, I'll point Ms. Parker to page 15 of the report.


Not only does the report discuss parents and fathers specifically, but I believe the report gives us many reasons why the problem of sexualizing girls is not one that will be solved with a silver bullet or rather a father in each home. This current administration has wasted millions of dollars trying to talk poor women into getting married because they think that will solve everything. No talk of job training, domestic violence, child care, or even love! This is the same mentality that our dear Ms. Parker has. Just get men back in the home and, WAH-LA!, problem solved!

We all need help in attacking this problem. Mothers and fathers. Thankfully there is a great resource for dads. Dads & Daughters, founded by the fabulous Joe Kelly, has tip sheets on how dads can talk to their daughters about issues like this. Want to know how different mothers and fathers are? They have a page for that. http://www.dadsanddaughters.org/for-expectant-and-new-fathers/fathers-are-different-than-mothers.aspx
Want to know how to react when you are watching TV and a sexist commercial comes on? Don't just change the channel. Talk to her about why you oppose that image of women. (You do, right?) Dads & Daughters sends out a list of tips like this near major sports competitions (World Series, Super Bowl, etc.). I just got my tips on the Women's NCAA Finals. They include:

 

1.  Remember that your daughter or stepdaughter hungers for your attention. Make popcorn and watch the tournament together for a great opportunity to talk about the game, or anything else on her mind! NCAA Division I games are on ESPN and ESPN2—the Women’s Final Four is April 1 and 3.

 

2.  Fill out brackets together (find them at www.ncaasports.com/basketball/womens).

 

3.  Celebrate these powerful women.  Compliment a great shot, steal, or smart pass. Our daughters hear so often that men only care about women’s looks. Show your excitement for the game by commenting on their skills and physical capabilities. And if commercials objectify women (e.g., scantily clad women in beer commercials), call the station, the product manufacturer, and the NCAA to complain.

 

5.  Read articles together about the games you watched or missed in the newspaper or online.  If your news source has inadequate coverage of the women's tourney, write a letter to the editor to ask for more articles.

 

8.  Talk about the positive trends in basketball (on-court hustle or its increasingly international flavor) as well as the controversial ones (recruiting abuses or the question of male vs. female coaches) and ask her what life lessons she learns from the game.

 

10.   When the game is over, go outside and shoot hoops together!

Having a man in the house will not help this problem or any of the many problems our children face if they are not active and positive forces in their lives. To suggest that a troubled life is magically solved by just adding one man belittles the very tough role that fathers face.

"Ultimately, it's a daddy thing." Um, talk about pressure! OK, daddies, gather 'round. You have to keep your daughter from getting pregnant, dressing like a pop princess, teach your sons how to respect women, and of course bring home the bacon. No, it's just your job. No help from friends, family, your partner, and especially not from the government or schools. Oh, no! You're in this by yourself.

But let's take a step back. Who are Dads? They use to be boys. Parker also bemoans that the report did not talk about boys more. She then answers her own whine with the stat that 85% of sexualized children pictured in ads were girls. The authors discuss this fact in a Washington Post article, "Boys, too, face sexualization, the authors acknowledge. Pubescent-looking males have posed provocatively in Calvin Klein ads, for example, and boys with impossibly sculpted abs hawk teen fashion lines. But the authors say they focused on girls because females are objectified more often. According to a 1997 study in the journal Sexual Abuse, 85 percent of ads that sexualized children depicted girls." While the number of eating disorders, plastic surgeries, and other body image issues are rising in boys, it is girls who are disproportionately affected. Why? Because if we take two huge steps back, we will see that it is the SAME system that is tearing down our girls that is now gunning for our boys.

• Girls have had magazines tell them that they are fat for ages. Now boys have that too.
• Girls have had hair commercials tell them that *this* product with make their hair perfect. Now boys have that too.
• Barbie has an impossible to obtain body. The last time I looked, GI Joe had an ideal six pack.
• Teen pop stars dress sexually on both sides - Girls in skimpy skirts, boys with their jeans hanging down to see their sculpted abs.

I could go on and on, but I won't. Sometimes the solution to many problems can be found by focusing on one problem and applying it to many.

In the end it is a daddy thing. And a mommy thing. And a teacher thing. And an all of us thing.

Next time: Let's talk about what we can do to counter this attempt to take our daughters' childhood from them. What are we letting into our homes that may be detrimental and is there an antidote to it all? We all know we can't lock them in their rooms until they are 30, as tempting as this may be.


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